I guess the biggest experience I have had this week had to do with humility. After receiving the transfer calls, I really felt like I was ready for more responsibility, that my abilities weren’t being used to their fullest. After Elder Haas got here, I felt like I could learn from him, but I definitely had some pride in me because I felt as though I knew our investigators the longest, and I knew what they needed. I saw eventually that I was wrong, and I will explain that in just a second. I was sitting at my desk one night after we had changed the baptismal date for an investigator (I had wanted to keep it the same, but then I realized that there was sound reasoning behind changing it, and I only didn’t want to change it because of what people would think of my ability as a missionary), I realized that I had been proud, and I took a minute to humble myself and read in the scriptures a little. All of a sudden, I got this sort of chastening in my mind. I felt like Lehi when he looked into the Liahona and got chastened. I just heard a voice in my mind telling me that I was relying too much on my own knowledge and power. I soon learned that I needed to listen to others more, a decision should not be made in an instant; I need to first weigh the options and then ask God what to do, and in this case also consult with my companion, especially if it had to do with an important decision such as when to baptize an investigator. I will probably never forget this. I don’t know the last time I felt chastened for anything, but I know now that God loves his children, and so he chasteneth them. Eventually we were able to discuss the option of changing the baptismal date to allow more time to prepare, and it was just what our investigator needed. It is strange to think that most of the time, I make mistakes of judgment not because I lack the knowledge or discerning power to make the decision, but because I worry too much about what others will think. What matters is what God thinks, “the Lord looketh on the Heart” (1 Samuel 16).
I haven’t really got much else this week except that I know the Lord loves us, and He wants us to do what is right. He will guide us, as long as we are willing to follow. Sometimes we may feel that he has been too sharp with us, but I know that as we develop a habit of meaningful prayer as described by Elder Eyring in the priesthood session of the April 2014 conference and truly feast upon the scriptures, we will be ready to follow the Lord where ever He leads us because we know Him.
Build your personal relationship with God. Never be satisfied until you know Him as well as He knows you.
I love you all and wish you the best during this week.
Elder J Billings